Freedom, in a way.
I wonder, while I wander about the silent woods
as I pass by tall trees as if staring at me from above,
about why is it that us humans lack patience
and though have ample time to think and decide, always find the scarcity of it.
I wonder if I am only human or something more.
Something what technology has made me,
a lot different from what I used to be
and not the simplest thought of mine would regret my transformation.
Like the stars up shining eternally,
I wonder why I can’t stay the same,
though a billion years old why can’t I too live to the fullest
and not cry or break down when my feelings are hurt.
I wonder why can’t I turn into a stone
and yet be soft as rose petals and desired like diamonds.
Alone in this world full of distractions
I try to concentrate on a lonely little me but to no avail, I give-up and walk away.
All the way to the edge of a cul-de-sac.
I find myself walking and staring down a cliff
as if in a state of reverie which only I notice I am in,
I stand and feel the wind, feeling vulnerable and lost.
I die everyday but today I find I cannot do it any longer
And a halt had to find my life.
I have to stop wondering and wandering and find myself for me to keep in times of need,
I found out I have to make sense.
Now after I have walked off this cliff
I am falling, Oh what have I done!
cutting against layers of air, warm to cold
all the way down to somewhere I have never been.
Falling, falling, falling yet rising inside,
I find a reason to smile
and breathing freedom,
I feel lost to the world, for a while I am a bird.
You would say I have killed myself,
surely you don’t know in what way I’m saved.
And that I am free of a piercing solitude,
I wonder if I could feel like this again and again and again.